No Ali this week! No podcast this week! But our son Jackson joins MMIS for a cameo while Jon explains why. Also, from the MMIS vaults, an unreleased song, "The Ballad of MMIS" by friend of the podcast James Murphy of Pex Lives and The Last Exit Show (in which, by the way, Ali's introduction appears at the beginning of every episode).
The Bickersons are back and so excited to do this incredibly long episode about 1986's Down and Out In Beverly Hills that they managed to forget the Elevator Pitch! Jon is excited to do an absolutely terrible Nolte impression. Ali is sad about Chicago Theatre news. Both are dismayed at minor technical difficulties.
Down and Out In Beverly Hills, was directed by Paul Mazursky, and stars Nick Nolte, Richard Dreyfuss, Bette Midler, Little Richard, and MIKE THE DAMN DOG.
Ali and Jon revisit another classic 80s comedy, 1983's Trading Places. Is it going to be problematic?* Jon attempts to understand how the final plan works. Ali attempts to understand why the 80s still hadn't figured out not to do blackface under any circumstances. Both want eggnog from Denholm Elliott.
Trading Places was directed by Vic Morrow's murderer, and stars Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy, Jamie Lee Curtis, Denholm Elliott, Don Ameche, Ralph Bellamy, Paul Gleason, Belushi the Lesser, Former Senator Al Franken, and his much less controversial comedy partner, the late Tom Davis.
*What do you think?
Ali nya alunda Jon. Caveman (1981) caca. Ali pooka. Jon macha. Both nya zug-zug.
MMIS nya bobo Ringo Starr! Nya bobo Dennis Quaid! Nya bobo Diane Chambers! Nya bobo Dr. Jellif! Nya bobo Sloth!
In what might be a first at MMIS, Ali shows Jon a movie (1988's Running On Empty) that is just legitimately good, with no caveats about cult themes or nostalgia attached, which means they can barely stay on topic throughout. Jon is amazed he sat through a movie without explosions without complaining. Ali is amazed Jon sat through a movie without explosions without complaining. Both have been running from the FBI for so long and are so, so tired.
Running On Empty was directed by Sidney Lumet, and stars Judd Hirsch, Christine Lahti, River Phoenix, and Martha Plimpton.
Ali and Jon put on the sunglasses and take a long look at John Carpenter's made-in-1988-but-depressingly-still-applicable anti-Reagan agitprop film, They Live. Jon is here to podcast and chew bubblegum. Ali is all out of bubblegum. Both spend at least 5-1/2 minutes fighting about whether that fight scene was necessary (spoiler alert from Jon, who writes these episode descriptions: it totally was).
They Live stars Rowdington Roderick Piper, Keith David, and more character actors than you can spray with an M-16. Oh, and a couple of ghouls.
Ali and Jon are back an on schedule with 1986's tragicomic/dramedic/sadlarious coming of age film, Lucas. Jon is disappointed that it isn't a biopic about the early days of Star Wars. Ali is disappointed that Jon spent the entire move unaware that it starred Corey Haim. Both spend several minutes of this surprisingly long episode making an unsolicited commercial for a local hot dog restaurant.
Lucas stars a phenomenal amount of young actors that we would end up seeing a lot in other things, and also, supposedly Gary Cole, though the Bickersons never noticed him and forgot to talk about that. It also is now apparently kind of tinged with scandal now, but the Bickersons really didn't want to talk about that, either.
2017 was a rotten year, and it gets in a parting shot on Ali and Jon with 1985's Volunteers. Jon can't believe how insane Tom Hanks' lockjaw accent is. Ali can't believe how terrible Jon's New York accent is. No one can believe this is how Hollywood tried to capitalize on Hanks and Candy's chemistry from Splash.
Volunteers stars Tom Hanks, John Candy, Rita Wilson, Gedde Goddamn Watanabe, Xander Berkeley, Expert Video Falconer George Plimpton, and the Psychiatrist from M*A*S*H. Oh and Jon forgot to mention director Nicholas Meyer wrote and/or directed all the even-numbered (good) original cast Star Trek movies. What he did wrong here is even more baffling when this is taken into account.
It's a Holiday Miracle: Ali and Jon are back! It's 1988's Scrooged, a Murray Family Extravaganza directed by Richard Donner. Jon may be an undigested bit of beef. Ali? A blot of mustard. At any rate, there's more of gravy than the grave about this podcast.
Scrooged stars a metric ton of Murrays, Indy's best girlfriend, Latka's best wife, the New York Dolls' best vocalist, Dynasty's...best (?) patriarch, the guy from Bonnie and Clyde (no, the other one), Ma Fratelli, Alfre Goddamn Woodard, JOHN DOUBLE GODDAMN GLOVER, and THERE AREN'T ENOUGH CAPS OR GODDAMNS TO COVER ROBERT EFFING MITCHUM.
NOTE: Jon mistakenly credits Brad Garrett for Muldoon in Car 54 Where Are You? but it was John C. McGinley. Oops!
The Bickersons barely bicker a bit, son, while watching this 1985 gender-swap teen farce. Ali questions whether this was really a Shakespeare adaptation. Jon questions whether this wasn't really a USA UP ALL NITE movie. Both question whether this film's depiction of gender is or isn't problematic.
Before this episode, Jon had only seen about 30 seconds of this movie. Can you guess which 30?
Halloween comes early, as Jon has no concept of timing when he shows Ali 1989's The 'Burbs, from the tail end of the Tom Hanks Is Just a Comedic Actor era. Jon learns mid-show that Henry Gibson already beat him to the Henrik Ibsen joke. Ali learns all about Jon's probably misguided obsession with Henry Gibson's ear. They both learn THEY might be the Klopeks of their neighborhood.
The 'Burbs was directed by Joe Dante, and stars Tom Hanks, Debbie Reynold's daughter, Laura Dern's dad, a Canadian guy, and a Corey, as well as A Distinguished Norwegian Playwright, Brother Theodore, and Malachi from Children of the Corn.
The Bickersons are back with the Not At All Fictional Movie, The Beniker Gang! Jon still refuses to believe this is an actual movie, even though Ali insists he saw it. Ali refuses to believe Jon is not a jackass. This movie is actually available on Amazon, despite being a figment of our collective imagination.
Ali and Jon take a trip down memory lane with the Police Academy's less successful sister film, Moving Violations, starring Bill Murray's brother, Meg Tilly's sister, and Stacey Keach's Brother! Ali's having trouble getting moving in the morning. Jon can't find the beef. Will either of them regret this movie? Will Jon get tired of writing this description and stop mid-sent
The Bickersons may never be your new regular Saturday night thing, but they are back with 1989's Road House, a movie with more mullets per capita than a hockey camp in 1992. Ali realizes it's the same shit in a different location. Jon knows that pain don't hurt. But can they get out from under the polar bear in time to finally release another podcast?
Road House stars The Swayze, The Swayze's Mullet, Sam Elliott, Sam Elliott's Mane, Kelly Lynch, Ben Gazzara, Jeff Healey, Kevin Tighe, "Sunshine" Parker, and Keith David in a part so small Jon forgot to mention it. Oh, and probably every single stuntman they could round up. It was directed by Rowdy Herrington, the only director whose name aptly describes his fight scenes.
Ali and Jon decided to ring out 2016 by discussing a movie written by the incomparable, much missed Carrie FIsher. It's not from the 80s, technically, but this is our podcast, and we can do what we want.
As mentioned at the end of the podcast, if you're in a giving mood, feel free to check out our son's donation page: www.jumpforjackson.com
Once again Ali and Jon fail to capitalize on any sort of momentum and/or holiday synergy by just doing a random 80s movie after another month off! In this case, it's the very Baby-Boomeresque Baby Boom, from 1987, a movie that Wikipedia claims "debuted strongly on VHS" . Jon can't remember the word "raft." Ali can't remember the term "applesauce." Neither can remember the movie very well because they watched it like 3 weeks ago. Oh, and this episode is a hot goddamn mess from start to finish.
Baby Boom was directed by Charles Shyer, and stars Diane Keaton, Sam Shepard, Harold Ramis, Sam Wannamaker, Pat Hingle, James Spader, the criminally underutilized Mary Gross, the criminally overutilized VIctoria Jackson, and a guy who looks so much like a redneck Jonathan Pryce that it should be a crime.
Holy crap...look at how expensive a used copy of this goes for!
Just in time for Thanksgiving, but far too late for a baseball-themed episode to be relevant, Ali and Jon have decided to return with a surprisingly long discussion about 1989's Major League! Jon is penitent about his failed original movie choice. Ali is defiant in her aversion to Tom Berenger's lips. Both deserve a red tag in their lockers.
Major League was written and directed by David S. Ward, and stars Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Corben Bernsen, Rene Russo, James Gannon, Bob Uecker, and the one and only Wesley Snipes.
Sorry for the lateness - this was recorded 2 weeks ago, but Jon totally screwed up and never prepared it to post. But maybe it will be worth the wait? We may never know.
At any rate, Ali and Jon are down and out enough to watch Troop Beverly Hills, more or less the final nail in the coffin of Shelley Long's career as a lead actress. Ali is upbeat, and ready for a happy nostalgic moment. Jon is a little leery, since this is the second Jeff Kanew film in as many episodes. But hey, at least half the kids in this movie have had better careers than its star!
Ali and Jon celebrate their 25th episode by nearly breaking themselves with 1984's smash hit Revenge of the Nerds, a slobs-vs.-slobs "comedy" that forgets to do things like "be funny," "make people laugh," or "have basic human decency." Jon faces the nameless dread of existence. Ali has a dark night of the soul. Panties are raided, but will the nerds steal their hearts?
You know what? We're not going to bother crediting the cast and director of this shitshow. Hell, we're not even going to put an Amazon link to buy it. Do not spend your money on this movie. Send it to a support group for survivors of sexual abuse or something. Man, fuck this movie sideways.
In an episode destined to be considered either a visionary masterpiece or a long, boring, self-important wank, Ali and Jon take on Ridley Scott's 1982's seminal sci-fi noir classic, Blade Runner. Jon attempts to build a better life on the Offworld Colonies. Ali just wants him to vanish like tears in the rain. Mainwhile, Sparky dreams of electric sheep.
Blade Runner stars Harrison Ford, Sean Young, Rutger Hauer, M. Emmet Walsh, Edward James Olmos, as well as Larry, his brother Darryl Hannah, and his other brother Darryl Hannah.